My Four Trimester

Building Mama’s Muscle

While still a teen, I struggled with depression—and quickly learned that fitness wasn’t just an antidote; it was a professional calling. Exercise has made me strong, both physically and mentally, and brought back happiness. After Freya’s birth, I was juggling having a new family life and returning to work after my newborn was only 5 weeks old, to ensure we had financial needs as we don’t have any support from family or the government. These difficult post-partum months plunged me back into the darkness with postnatal depression.

How I build the mum muscle?

As My Misery Mounted, the post-partum period was the hardest thing, I’ve ever gone through, made worse because I was determined to breastfeed, but my nipples were a bleeding mess and Freya had 95% tongue tie did not help. Those first weeks, I would forget to eat. I would forget to bathe. It was all Freya, Freya, Freya. If she napped, I couldn’t sleep because I’d have to check to make sure she was breathing. I had so much anxiety. ‘Am I doing this right? Why is she crying so much? Those fricking’ hiccups, and spots, when will they go away?’ I was crying every single day. I was losing it.

Not only that, but I had struggled with depression and anxiety before, so I knew what was happening. But I couldn’t do what I knew I needed to do to get better: exercise. I did start again four weeks post-partum, but some followers wrote things like, ‘Oh Trang, you are supposed to be resting, not getting your body back.’ But I wasn’t worried about my body; I needed to feel better. Comments implying I wasn’t doing what was best for Freya messed with my head.

I feel like us as females, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, and we should be doing what makes us feel good. For me, it's about making myself happy. I feel a lot of confidence comes in when you're doing things for yourself, as opposed to comparing yourself to others. I want a better version of my weight. I want a better version of my arms. When you start loving yourself and when you start just working with the mentality of being a better version of yourself, I think things are going to change. You're not in it for the 'gram. You're not doing it for other people."

Taking Time for Yourself as a Mom

I've learned that being healthy is more than just eating well. You can eat well, you can exercise. You can take care of your kid. But if you don't take care of yourself, any of that matters, because stress will be the thing that will disrupt everything.

I've been at a time in my life where I almost had a nervous breakdown because I didn't take a break, and as a mom, you don't know when to stop. I learned how to do that this year. In order for you to be productive and be healthy, you have to allow yourself enough time to take a break. I have scheduled for myself at least two training sessions every week after Freya turned six weeks old.

Allocating a little time for myself helps me be a confident, happy mom. And a confident woman is a happy mother, and a happy mother means having a happy child. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story can make all the difference.

Are you currently struggling to arrange a time for yourself for excercise as new mum? If you need someone to keep yourself accountable,

Step Up

My strength was tested during my first few months as a new parent, exercising has helped me so much AGAIN to power through pregnancy, childbirth, and post-natal. I believe that as mums if we look after ourselves, we can have it all and beat stress while we are at it

I gave birth the second time in 2021 to Mighty Mamas Fitness, with the goal to create a mum’s community that supports and empowers each other through the new vulnerable stage of life (something that I felt was missing after I gave birth). If you are currently experiencing such a challenging time, during and after birth, just believe everything is a phase, join Mighty Mama Fitness and move to make your mind feel better.

Parenting Expectations

What I've learned is that there's no way to parent. There's not a specific way to be a parent. Before I had Freya, I had all these expectations of things that I would do. I would never do that with my child, or I would do this with my child, and the next thing you know, Freya comes in. I'm doing things that I said I would never do.

She doesn't have a lot of TV time, but if I need to pull out the TV so that she can just stay, I will. Or it's inevitable that she'll be at her grandmother's house, and they'll have cake. There's no one way of parenting, and when you're in it, you just have to find a way to make the best out of what you have.

Freya, she's the reason I feel stronger than ever

The most rewarding is just seeing Freya, how she is. I see myself, I see the traits that she is taking from me on a regular basis. The most challenging is that she's like an octopus—she touches everything! Kids are relentless, they are unapologetically themselves, they're exploring, their brains are developing.

You have to have 20 eyes on her. She just crawled everywhere and put everything in her mouth within a second, so I'm like, 'Oh well, great. Thank you, Freya!' They don't listen, you have to tell them 20,000 times: 'Hey, don't touch that, don't touch that, don't touch that.' And they still touch it! But that just comes with the territory of having a baby/toddler.